Fragrance reviews are silly, but sometimes, fragrance marketing is even sillier. What do “playful pastimes” and “nostalgia” really smells like? So from now on, we’ll be crowdsourcing our own fragrance reviews. Read on to find out what our office thought about the latest sample to land on our desk. This week, we’re testing out Gucci Guilty Black.
Fragrance: Gucci Guilty Black Pour Femme, $75
What Gucci thinks it smells like: “Gucci Guilty Black Pour Femme is an intense oriental floral fragrance that radiates sensuality. The perfume opens with attention-grabbing notes of red fruits and pink pepper. This sparkling preview fades to a luscious heart of raspberry and peach, blended with feminine tones of lilac and violet. At the very base, Gucci’s signature patchouli blends with voluptuous amber to create a deep, evocative scent.”
What we think it smells like:
“A luxury store.”
“Really sweet mixed with a sharp spiciness. Like Jean Naté bath oil, which smelled nose-wrinklingly spicy, but then covered with frosting.”
“This Van Cleef & Arpels perfume, which I own.
“Old leather-bound books.”
“Decorative soaps that seem like a really good idea but are ultimately useless.”
“Where men should keep their cufflinks.”
“Pollen and stuffy noses.”
“Like when my basement flooded and the board games got wet.”
“A dressing room.”
“The romantic, flirty montage of a Reese Witherspoon movie. Perhaps one with a boat ride.”
“A particularly classy grandmother.”
“A weekend tryst with a handsome Italian. Possibly on a yacht.”